From my sister that is leaving, some words of advice!

Assalamu alayku,
this email was in my inbox today and I couldn't stop reading it, it touched me so deeply and felt so strong to post it here for all to benefit, insh'Allah.
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Assalam-u-laikum Wahrahmtallahi Wabrakatuhu
Alhumdulillahi Rabbiaalimeen and we ask Allah subhanawatala to send His blessings upon our Beloved Prophet sallaah alayi wasaalaam.

I just wanted to say a big jazakallahu khairun for yesterday mashallaah for making time in between your hectic lives, for being so organised and coming together with your children too in an ideal setting for sisters and kids, ordering the food especially the cake subhanallaah and last but not least the tasteful and very special gifts mashallaah. It was very thoughtful, humbling and moving and my tears were out of fear that you sisters may see something in me which is not true and I sincerely ask Allah tala to forgive me if the people misjudge me. The gifts are wonderful and I have used the ipod all day subhanallah- a whole new world has opened up for me- Great way of switching off and not allowing shaytaan to attack you when you are most vulnerable tired etc. and giving you the calm you need to manage the next spat between the kids- joys of summer holidays...Alhumdulillahi Rabbilaaalimeen
Words can't truly express my gratitude but I ask you to forgive my errors and you are all in my duas.
For now, some nasiyyah which is pressing on my heart- please don't press sisters on their personal affairs. Do not take it personally if you don't know everything about a sisters life. Subhanallaah- make excuses for each other and be pleased for each other but don't allow shaytaan to come between you and a sister if she does not share every last detail of her life with you. There may be just cause for a sister being cautious in what she shares with you and you must not make her feel uncomfortable and embarassed by enquiring about her affairs. This is alluded to in Surah Hujeraat and in An- Nawaawi hadith. Furthermore, this is such an important matter of good etiquette which I feel is being neglected and we need to revive amongst ourselves inshallaah. Even when you visit someone and they don't answer the door and don't let you in, make excuses for them. You may have arrived at an incovenient time and this can make the person feel more awkward if they feel forced to open the door. They may feel too shy to turn you away but at the same time have a valid reason for not inviting you in. So, show this respect to one another by arranging a time to visit in advance or even calling just before you arrive inshallaah.
I find that there is a culture of people wanting to know about others lives but not sharing things about themselves. If someone shares something with you in secret, you must guard this secret. It is not appropriate to disclose it if they spoke to you in private subhanallaah. Please, can we show this respect to each other and not pry any further as this is not necessary. From the etiquettes of the Muslim woman, please find below the extract from the well -known text on The Ideal Muslimah by Muhammad Ali- Al Hashmi:
She does not interfere in that which does not concern her.
The true Muslim woman is wise and discerning; she does not interfere in that which does not concern her, nor does she concern herself with the private lives of the women around her. She does not stick her nose into their affairs or force herself on them in any way, because this could result in sin or blame on her part. By seeking to avoid interfering in that which does not concern her, she protects herself from vain and idle talk, as she is adhering to a sound Islamic principle that raises the Muslim above such foolishness, furnishes him with the best of attitudes, and guides him towards the best way of dealing with others:
"A sign of a person's being a good Muslim is that he should leave alone that which does not concern him."39
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) likes three things for you and dislikes three things. He likes for you to worship Him, not to associate anything with Him, and to hold fast, all together, by the Rope which He (stretches out for you), and not to be divided among yourselves [cf. Al `Imran 3:103]. And He dislikes for you to pass on stories and gossip, to ask too many questions, and to waste money."40
The divinely-guided society which has been formed by Islam has no room for passing on stories and gossip, asking too many questions, or interfering in the private affairs of others, because the members of such a society are too busy with something much more important, which is the establishing of the word of Allah (SWT) on earth, taking the banner of Islam to the four corners of the earth, and spreading its values among mankind. Those who are engaged in such great missions do not have the time to indulge in such sins.
May Allah subhanawatala reward you all for your kindness and friendship to me and I ask Allah tala to keep us united for His sake and for us to strive to benefit one another in matters of deen inshallaah.
all my duas
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