INDEPENDENT LEARNERS

'O Allah increase me in knowledge,
amin.'


Friday 30 May 2008

When friends depart...

Assalamu alaykum,

my kids have been sad lately. They have just learnt that their best friends will leave soon.

They will not seeing or talking any more as they are used to with them, they will have less contact with them and I will too!

By the end of August, my dearest sister, you know who you are, will leave UK to head to Sharjah. A new beginning for her and her family. A new life and I pray that Allah will bless their hijrah. Amin.




More often we hear of sisters and their families leaving for hijrah.

Some are more close to our heart, some come and go, other left a mark on us.

Just last week, another dearest sister left for hijrah. *******MISSING YOU*******

When friends depart is hard. I hate the goodbyes and feel sad. I myself left my native country to be here in UK. I don't have a family here and after all these years (10 to be exact), I still miss my family terribly. Somethings will never change! :(

I have heard of sisters leaving their home country for hijrah and finding it difficult for many reasons...I, myself, still didn't get used to the taste of food around here. Everything seems to taste different. Not to talk about the weather, the education, the NHS etc. Hamdulillah. we are travellers in this world, strangers...as travellers we should adapt anywhere. I have never really complained about being away from home, but I miss it. As Muslims we should adapt and get used to live and sleep under Allah's sky, anywhere we are. After all, it's Allah's land, it all belong to HIm (subhana wa Ta'Ala)

I do also feel blessed to be here as I don' think I could manage being Muslims back home. In fact the mentality and attitude towards what's different is totally radical. Either you are a native or you are out...

Hamdulillah Allah guided me to a better place where I can freely practice my deen. This bring to my mind the diversity of UK, mainly of London.

I love the multiculturalism and the fact that you can be in one city and still travel the world through the stories, colours, flavours, tastes, foods, variety etc of London!

We all choose our own journey, we try our best to make it safe for us and our kids, and we pray to Allah to bless us. May Allah always guide us to make the best choices for us and our kids. Amin.

Wednesday 28 May 2008

Why do we have to love the Prophet Muhammad (sallahu alayhe wa sallam)


Assalamu alaykum,

A child is asking why we have to love and respect our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the most

From Islam Q&A

Why we have to love and respect our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the most.
Praise be to Allaah.
We welcome you to our website and ask Allaah to cause you and all the children of the Muslims to grow well; may He help your parents to give you a sound Islamic upbringing so that you can carry the banner of faith and be heroes of this religion.
I ask you:
If you love to play, but your father tells you not to play at certain times because of your studies, what would you do? If you truly love your father, you will do as he asks, even though you love to play.
If you are afraid that your father will punish you, and you know that he punishes the one who does not listen to what he says, then you will stop playing and go study.
If you expect a gift or a reward from your father when you study or do well, then you will stop yourself playing sometimes, and you will put up with the trouble of studying, because of the reward you hope to earn.
The bounty of Allaah is greater than anything that our fathers and mothers and all people can give us. All the good things that we and our parents have come from Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allaah”
[al-Nahl 16:53]
The reward that Allaah has prepared for those who obey Him is the greatest of rewards: Paradise. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah has promised those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism) and do deeds of righteousness, that for them there is forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)”
[al-Maa'idah 5:9]
The punishment that He has prepared for those who disobey Him is the worst of punishments. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment”
[al-Nisa’ 4:14]
Obeying Allaah can only be achieved by obeying His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“He who obeys the Messenger (Muhammad), has indeed obeyed Allaah, but he who turns away, then we have not sent you (O Muhammad) as a watcher over them”
[al-Nisa’ 4:80]
So you can only enter Paradise by obeying the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Al-Tirmidhi (2860) narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came out to us one day and said: “In my dream I saw Jibreel by my head and Mikaa’eel at my feet. One of them said to the other: ‘Let us tell him an parable.’ He said: ‘Let your ears hear and let your heart understand. The likeness of you and your ummah is that of a king who took some land and built a house on it, then he placed a table therein and sent a messenger inviting the people to come and eat. Some of them responded to the messenger and others did not. Allaah is the king, the land is Islam, the house is Paradise, and you, O Muhammad, are a messenger. Whoever responds to you enters Islam, and whoever enters Islam will enter Paradise, and whoever enters Paradise will eat what is therein.’” See al-Silsilah al-Saheehah by al-Albaani, 3595.
Now you know why we have to love the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and respect him the most. It is because he is the one who showed us the path to Paradise. We cannot enter Paradise unless we follow him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and follow his Sunnah. Paradise is the greatest thing that the Muslim can hope for and strive for.
Now I shall tell you of the practical way of expressing this love and obedience:
You must have heard the story of the Hijrah (migration) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), from your father or in the mosque where you pray, or from your teacher at school. I ask you:
If ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) did not love the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) the most, and also respect and obey him the most, would he have been able to undertake this dangerous mission?
Finally, we thank you for this important question and for your keenness to learn. We have answered the question a little differently in question no. [14250]. Please ask your father to explain this answer to you.
May Allaah help us all to reach the highest level of faith, and bring us to Paradise by His mercy.
Islam Q&A

Monday 26 May 2008

Speechless...












Allah Akbar!

Sunday 25 May 2008

Feeding the family and Learning about History

Assalamu alaykum,
today we learnt about the story of how the pizza came about and specially the 'pizza Margherita'
The Pizza was born in Naples in the South of Italy. Originally, pizza was the staple diet of the poor, sold by street vendors from open air stalls to those that had no baking facilities of their own at home. In 1830, the very first pizzeria opened in the centre of Naples in Port`Alba. It had a wood burning oven for cooking pizza, and the pizzeria became popular and frequented by students, artisans, workmen and poets. Some poets and writers, such as Salvatore di Giacomo even dedicated their works and poems to the pizza !
In 1889, the infamous Pizza Margherita was officially born. In this year, Queen Margherita of Italy and Savoia and her husband King Umberto of Italy spent the summer at the Capodimonte Royal Palace in Naples. Queen Margherita, having heard about pizza, but not having ever eaten one decided she would like to try one. Being Royalty, it wasn't very appropriate to go and visit a pizzeria, so a well known pizza chef, Raffaele Esposito from Pizzeria Brandi (in the Chiaia area of Naples), was called upon to make one for the Queen. Esposito made three different types of pizza for the Queen to try, one of those being a pizza representing the colours of the Italian flag, red, white and green; dressed with mozzarella, basil and tomato sauce. Queen Margherita decided that this one was her favourite pizza, and Esposito's creation from that day was named the Pizza Margherita.





And here's our pizza!

I made it with fresh tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, spicy mince beef and fresh rocket salad, so crunchy yum, yum!
Oppss a slice is missing, I couldn't resist it...BTW my pizza is made directly in a very hot pan as my oven is broken!


Islamic manners: Teach your kids not to lie!

Assalamu alaykum,
my older one started to lie. At the beginning it was only a small lie. Now and again he will say something a big bigger. I have warned him straight from the start. I have mentioned to hiom some ahadith about lying and deceiving. I am really trying hard for his sake to make him realize that lying cannot be accepted in Islam, never!
Why kids start to lie? When do they start? My younger one, almost 5 years old, he is so thrutful and would always tell me the truth, even when it entails getting into troubles!
Hamdulillah.
How should I teach my older one to be thrutful? How do I go about? Is it something I can do daily? Can I show him how to be thrutful? I pray all will stop, but I then get upset to find that he has lied again!

Insh'Allah here's it's is a reminder for us all to ponder over. Even small lies can never be accepted in Islamand can cause so much distress.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The importance of being truthful
What is the importance of being truthful, both in personal and business relationships, in Islam? Is lying ever considered and "acceptable" action?
Praise be to Allaah.
Being truthful means speaking the truth and also saying things that reflect reality.
Being truthful is one of the necessities of a human society, one of the virtues of human behaviour, and brings great benefits, whilst lying is one of the major elements of corruption in human society, and the cause of the destruction of social structure and ties, one of the most evil features of bad conduct, and causes widespread harm. Hence Islam commanded truthfulness and forbade lying.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Be afraid of Allaah, and be with those who are true (in word and deeds).” [al-Tawbah 9:119]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said (2/414): “It means: be truthful and adhere to truthfulness, and you will be among its people and will be saved from calamity, and this will make a way out for you from your problems.”
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… if they had been true to Allaah, it would have been better for them.” [Muhammad 47:21]
‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘You must be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will keep speaking the truth and striving to speak the truth until he will be recorded with Allaah as a siddeeq (speaker of the truth). Beware of telling lies, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hellfire. A man will keep telling lies and striving to tell lies until he is recorded with Allaah as a liar.” (Reported by Muslim, 4721)
This hadeeth indicates that truthfulness leads to righteousness (al-birr), an all-embracing concept that includes all kinds of goodness and different kinds of righteous deeds. Immorality is basically an inclination towards deviation from the truth, and the immoral person (faajir) is one who is inclined to turn away from the path of guidance. Hence immorality and righteousness are diametrically opposed.
Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “I memorized from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ‘Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt, for truthfulness is certainty and tranquillity, whilst lying is doubt and confusion.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2520; al-Nisaa'i, 8/327; and Ahmad, 1/200)
In the lengthy hadeeth of Abu Sufyaan describing his meeting with Heraclius, Abu Sufyaan (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “[Heraclius] said, ‘What does he [meaning the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] command you to do?’ I said, ‘He says: worship Allaah alone and do not associate anything in worship with Him, and abandon that which your forefathers did. He commands us to pray, to be truthful, to be chaste and to uphold the ties of kinship.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1/30 and Muslim, 1773).
Hakeem ibn Hizaam (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two parties to a deal have the option of changing their minds until they part; if they are open and honest, their deal will be blessed, and if they conceal and tell lies, the blessing of their deal will be diminished.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4/275 and Muslim, 1532.)
Truthfulness includes being truthful towards Allaah by worshipping Him sincerely; being truthful towards one’s own soul by making it adhere to the laws of Allaah; and being truthful with people in one's words and by keeping one's promises, and in dealings such as buying, selling and marriage, so there should be no deceiving, cheating, falsifying or withholding of information. Thus a person should be the same on the inside and the outside.
As regards lying, it is highly forbidden, and is of varying degrees of abhorrence and sin. The most obnoxious form of lying is falsely attributing things to Allaah and His Messenger, because this involves fabrication about the religion and is an act of outrage against Allaah. Hence one of the characteristics of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is that he truthfully conveyed that which Allaah commanded him to convey. So Allaah said (interpretation of the meanings):
“… who does more wrong than one who invents a lie against Allaah, to lead mankind astray without knowledge. Certainly Allaah guides not the people whi are zaalimoon (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)” [al-An’am 6:144]
“And who does more wrong than he who invents a lie against Allaah? Such will be brought before their Lord, and the witnesses will say, ‘These are the ones who lied against their Lord!’ No doubt! The curse of Allaah is on the zaalimoon (polytheists, wrong-doers, oppressors, etc.).” [Hood 11:18]
Equally bad is lying about the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as he is reported to have said in the mutawaatir hadeeth: “Whoever lies about me deliberately, let him take his place in Hell.” (Agreed upon).
The basic rule with regard to lying is that it is not permitted, but there are certain circumstances in which Islam permits lying to serve a greater purpose or to prevent harm.
One of these situations is when a person mediates between two disputing parties in order to reconcile between them, if reconciliation cannot be achieved in any other way. Um Kalthoom (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not a liar who reconciles between people and conveys something good or says something good.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 2495).
Another example is a man’s speaking to his wife, or a woman speaking to her husband, with regard to matters that will strengthen the ties of love between them, even if that is accompanied by exaggeration. Asma’ bint Yazeed said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Lying is not permitted except in three cases: a man’s speaking to his wife to make her happy; lying at times of war; and lying in order to reconcile between people.’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1862; he said: it is a hasan hadeeth. See also Saheeh Muslim, 4717).
One of the most important forms of both being truthful and lying is in the area of promises and covenants. Being truthful in promises and covenants is one of the characteristics by which the believers are known. Both promises and covenants involve saying something about an issue to confirm that you will do it, especially with regard to one's duties towards Allaah. Allaah says, praising some of His slaves (interpretation of the meanings):
“Those who are faithfully true to their amaanaat (all the duties which Allaah has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility and trusts, etc.) and to their covenants.” [al-Mu’minoon 23:8]
“… and who fulfil their covenant when they make it…” [al-Baqarah 2:177]
“Among the believers are men who have been true to their covenant with Allaah [i.e., they have gone out for jihad (holy fighting), and showed not their backs to the disbelievers], of them some have fulfilled their obligations (i.e., have been martyred), and some of them are still waiting, but they have never changed [i.e., they never proved treacherous to their covenant which they concluded with Allaah] in the least.” [al-Ahzaab 33:23]
We ask Allaah to make us sincere and truthful in word and deed. And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Monday 19 May 2008

Parenting

Assalamu alaykum,


I went for my weekly halaqa (study circle) this morning. Lately I haven't been so regular with attendance as the Calvert programme we need to be indoors 5 days a week in order to finish the study within one year. Hamdulillah.

But this morning I went as I felt the urge to be with sisters whom i love and respect for the sake of Allah. May Allah reward them for their pure intentions and sisterhood. Amin


The topic was about 'Parenting'. Subhan'Allah wasn't that qadr that I had it to be there?!
It was so beneficial to hear the sisters talking about how as parents should be rearing our kids.



One of the things that strike me, it was the eager we all have for our kids to learn as young as babies.

Allah tells us in the Quran that our children are our trial and as such we should take the task of parenting seriously, and start learning from each other.

Parents, sometimes with their comments or attitude can have a negative influence on their children, unknowingly.

What parents do can have a tremendous impact on children's lives.

Parenting



Sometimes parents will immediately start complaining and finding fault in everything.
Sometimes children want to show parents what they have done in order to hear them say how good it is. In these cases, point out and compliment the positives first, then point out some of the negatives and suggest ways to correct them.

Certainly, evaluation and positive criticism are sometimes necessary to teach children how to do better next time.

When we build a warm and friendly relationship with our children, we establish the best opportunity for imparting strong moral and spiritual values to them--the key to high self-esteem.

Cafe' Muslimah, a reminder!

Assalamu alaykum,
I have already posted about this event. But here's our poster!










Sunday 18 May 2008

I OWE MY MOTHER SO MUCH!


Got this as an email forward and had to put it up here. I hope I don't offend anyone...

I OWE MY MOTHER SO MUCH:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL

'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC

' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC

'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

'7. My mother taught me IRONY .

'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA

'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP . 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 20. My mother taught me HUMOR .

'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running home.

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .

'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you '


LOVE YOU MUM!

Saturday 17 May 2008

...And down came the rain!!


Assalamu alaykum, another week has gone! I cannot believe I am saying it again! But yes it happened again...doesn't time just fly?

So let's see. Monday we had yet another pic-nic in the park. This time it was a family day out. Dh back from abroad and so we decided to lift up his spirit with a day out in the park.

We went in a beautiful location, far from the hustle and bustle of London. It was nice to spent time together with kids and specially dh. Mash'Allah wa al-hamdulillah.

These days have been hard for him and I wanted to give him some relief, even if only for few hours. Kids played football and showed their new found love for nature walks and science knowledge!

Tuesday. We went to the Lady Diana Memorial playground, please read Lady Diana Memorial Playground.

Wednesday, business as usual.Calvert in the morning and madrassa in the afternoon. Kids came back home so tired as after more than 10 days off madrassa, they lost their routine!

Thursday, another full day of homeschooling. Now we are revisiting Phonics, specially tricky sounds such as G in garage and G in Angel, also
Mb at the end of a word (silent b), e.g. comb, lamb, climb.
Sc at the beginning of a word followed by 'e' or 'i', (silent c), e.g. scene, scent, science, scissors (except for the word 'sceptic' and its derivations!).
Kn (silent k), e.g. knife, knock, know.
Mn at the end of a word (silent n), e.g. damn, autumn, column
Ps at the beginning of a word (silent p), e.g. psalm, psychiatry, psychology
Ght (silent gh), e.g. night, ought, taught
Gn at the beginning of a word (silent g), e.g. gnome, gnaw, gnu
Bt (silent b), e.g. debt, doubtful, subtle (but not in some words, e.g. 'obtain', 'unobtrusive'!)

Also we are repeating the CVCe.

In Maths we are learning, or I should say re-visited tens and ones, less than <> .

In Science we are now learning about the weather and how it changes. We made a calendar and A is recording how the weather changes daily. He has lots to put down, specially these day. It's rainy, cold, cloudy, sunny, hot, warm, back to rain...you get the picture! lol!

In Social Studies and Geography we are learning how to use a compass rose and maps.

Friday morning we went for our weekly science club and afterwards we headed for madrassa.

We finally were given the dates for the final year exams. They will start on 30 June with Qur'an and then carry on with the other subjects, Arabic, Islamic Studies, Ahadith, etc.

Saturday, we went swimming in the morning. The new teacher finally had to accept the fact that my kids won't wear shorter shorts (excuse me the riddle!). They always wore shorts up to their knees and below...hamdulillah never had problem with other teachers. They just changed teacher as they both went up a level; she is a new teacher and I had to explain again about our religious requirement!

In the afternoon we attended a charity event to raise money for the Burma catastrophe.

May Allah make it easy and bring relief to them. Amin.

Every day we are reading more and more about new disasters, Allah Akbar!

Please do donate for the Burma appeal. You can do so online. Islamic Relief is a leading in this kind of projects. You can visit their website

Insh'Allah tomorrow will be my sport day. I am going for swimming. All by my own...insh'Allah. Doesn't sound real...it has been long time since the last time I swam. Insh'Allah that should do me good, specially for my back probs.



Tuesday 13 May 2008

Lady Diana Memorial Playground




Assalamu alaykum,
another great day out with the homeschooler group!
Mash'Allah. We went to the Diana Memorial Playground. The sun was out and a gentle breeze was keeping us cool.
The kids had a great time, they didn't want to stop playing.
I have not had time to take pics but here are some that I found on the net.
Here are some more information about the playground and how to get there.
Opening hours:The park is open from 6am to dusk all year round.
Getting there:Tube:Lancaster Gate & Queensway - Central LineBayswater - District Line High Street Kensington - Circle and District LinesBus:9 Aldwych - Hammersmith10 Hammersmith - Kings Cross27 Chalk Farm -Turnham Green28 Harrow Road (Prince of Wales) - Wandsworth31 Notting Hill Gate - Camden Town49 Shepherd's Bush - Wandsworth52 Victoria - Willesden70 South Kensington - Acton94 Piccadilly Circus- Acton Green148 Victoria - Shepherd's Bush274 Angel Islington - Lancaster Gate360 Elephant and Castle - Royal Albert Hall390 Notting Hill Gate - ArchwayParking is available for disabled drivers at Queen's Gate or along West Carriage Drive in the designated bays.Picnics in the Park:Many people enjoy picnics in the parks. We have put together a document to help you plan your picnic in the park.
Contact:Kensington Gardens Office, The Magazine Storeyard, Magazine Gate, Kensington Gardens, London W2 2UHTel +44 (0)20 7298 2000Fax +44 (0)20 7724 2826Email: kensington@royalparks.gsi.gov.uk

Saturday 10 May 2008

Disciplining your kids!

Assalamu alaykum,
I started writing this article few days before we went to the Lady Diana Memorial playground. I was totally unaware of what was going to happen on that day. My kids and their home edu friends were playing in the sand pit when some bigger children decided to throw sand on them! One of them, a 10 year old girl, a very bad tempered girl, was throwing a big tantrums and started to swear as I approached the mother to let her know what was going on. The mother was out of words and while the daughter had lots to say and swear, the mother could not say or do anything! Subhan'Allah! the daughter, a 10 years old child, could controlled the mother fully...

So here's the article I wanted to post just few days before...
Parents are often confused about how to discipline children once they reach their teens. It's about finding a balance - too little discipline and teenagers might get into risky behaviour, too much and they might rebel.

As your child grows and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, make sure you start communicating the rules of your family's home. Explain to kids what you expect of them before you punish them for a certain behavior. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, discuss why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences.

The earlier that parents establish this kind of "I set the rules and you're expected to listen or accept the consequences" standard, the better for everyone. Although it's sometimes easier for parents to ignore occasional bad behavior or not follow through on some threatened punishment, this sets a bad precedent. Consistency is the key to effective discipline, and it's important for parents to decide together what the rules are and then uphold them.

Kids have to believe that you mean what you say. This is not to say you can't give second chances or allow a certain margin of error, but for the most part, you should act on what you say.
Be careful not to make unrealistic threats of punishment ("Slam that door and you'll never watch TV again!") in anger, since not following through could weaken all your threats and consequences are also effective discipline strategies.

Just few thoughts to remember...
Dealing with the problem is the best move!
Don't ignore the behaviour- it will keep on getting worse and worse!
Talk to your teenager - try to get to the root of the problem.
Find someone your child trusts - he may be more willing to talk to a family friend, an older sibling or an aunt or uncle.
Be consistent!
And finally, never give up on your children!!!

Friday 9 May 2008

Cafe' Muslimah is back!!!


ROKKS (Revival of Knowledge, Khuluq and Sisterhood) Halaqah presents ....

'Cafe Muslimah'
Bank Holiday - Monday 26 May 2008,
10am-1pm

Sports Hall, Froud Centre, 1, Toronto Avenue, Manor Park, E12 5JF
Free parking, Free entry.

Come relax, meet new sisters, catch up with old ones, kids activities 0-8 years plus bouncy castle.

All proceeds to go to Madinah Mother and Toddlers group

For more details, donations or to volunteer a dish or your time on day, please contact
Umm Ismail- 07984 137653/Umm Zaahra on
ridwana14@hotmail.com

Thursday 8 May 2008

Busy week and hot days...

Assalamu alaykum all,

isn't it so beautiful when the weather gets warmer and days are longer? I love to spent entire days out with my boys.
The sun is out and the sky is blue...mash'Allah! London is full of energy during these days...
We had very few busy days around here. My dh is travelling as he went for his sister funeral which took place on Sunday. The kids and I were left behind as tickets are so expensive and short notice plus baby has got no passport as yet. I took the decision to keep my brain and my kids busy as we felt too sad for my dh and family all. Also my kids are off from madrassa for the whole week and will go back on Monday 12..

So here's our week!
Monday we had a pic-nic in the park with friends. Kids enjoyed playing football and learnt that staying too close to the ducks while eating a sandwich is never a good idea!
Tuesday we went to the Natural History Museum for a new exhibition 'The amazing Butterflies'. We went with other home edders and had such a lovely day! The boys and I visited the Natural History Museum for the second time and also the Science Museum just next door. We came back home late afternoon and were so tired!





Wednesday- another full day in the park. This time we took our bikes and enjoyed a good riding. In the afternoon we cleaned up our garden, mownedthe lawn and planted few new plants. Today, Thursday- again the park. As other children are school we took the opportunity to go in the morning. The park is so nice and quite in the morning. Kids are at school and no many dogs are around! Also we went for a quick visit to the local library to return few books and borrowed some new ones. In the afternoon a sister and her kids came for a visit and we all spent time in my cleaned garden!
Tomorrow Friday, insh'Allah, we have the science club and then afternoon free. I may take them to the local City Farm. insh'Allah.
This week my older one spent most of his free time reading. I bought him few more Dr Seuss books. He is currently reading 'One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue Fish' , 'Inside your outside- All about the Human body' , 'There is no place like space- All About the Solar System' .
It has been a busy week, it started with a sad news for us all...

Sunday 4 May 2008

Mourning...


Surah Ya-Sin :83
"So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will ye be all brought back."
"Fasubhana allathee biyadihimalakootu kulli shay-in wa-ilayhi turjaAAoona"

Assalamu alaykum,

last Friday proved to be a very long one...for many reasons!

After writing this post , my dh received a call from abroad. Sad news :(

One of my sisters in-law passed away, Allah Akbar! Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajeun!

We are so sad about it and the kids have been asking lots of questions about death as expected.

I have tried to answer most of the questions using the little knowledge I have on the subject.

We made a search engine and found few good Islamic website. We also talked about how a janaza prayer is performed and where the soul goes after it leaves the body.

We feel so sad but accept Allah's decree and that's what makes us Muslims. We hold onto Allah's plans as He is the Best Planner! Please remember my family in your dua'as and specially my sister in-law, may Allah have mercy on her soul.Amin

Friday 2 May 2008

Fridays long Fridays!

Assalamu alaykum,


Fridays are always so busy around here! We have the science club in the morning and then madrassa in the afternoon. Between the twos, lots of driving for me!


So time for cooking or cleaning is really limited and if not well organized we risk to jump lunch altogether.


So easy recipes are my thing on Fridays. I remember the good old days when I used to treat the family to couscous with lamb and vegetables or roasted chicken and potatoes...yum, yum!


But hamdulillah, here one of my easy Friday recipe. Easy but delicious!








Asparagus Frittata
1/2 pound fresh asparagus


6 large eggs


4 oz (about 1 cup) grated parmigiano reggiano (look for suitable for vegetarians)


1/4 tsp sea salt


1/8 tsp freshly ground pepper


2 Tbsps extra virgin olive oil.


For a firmer frittata, a handful of dry bread crumbs can be added to the egg mixture, about 1/4 cup.



Directions
Step: 1
Rinse asparagus and remove white end. Cut in 1/2 inch pieces. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook asparagus pieces for 3 minutes. Drain and set aside.
Step: 2
In a separate bowl, beat the eggs, salt, pepper and parmiggiano.
Step: 3
In a 9 inch wide skillet, at least 2 inches deep, heat the oil over medium heat. Add asparagus and saute for 2 minutes.
Step: 4
Pour egg mixture over asparagus and cook, stirring gently for about 2 minutes. Shake pan to settle the egg mixture.
Step: 5
Cook the frittata until the bottom is golden brown, about 6 minutes. * Flip and cook on the other side until golden.


*To flip easily and without tearing the frittata, place a plate upside down over the pan, place your hand over the plate and turn the whole thing over.Slip the frittata back into the pan to finish cooking.
Enjoy!

Thursday 1 May 2008

Children learn what they live!

Children learn what they live :
If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to have guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns to have confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world


We make choices ALL the time. Learning to make better ones in small little ways, immediate ways, makes life bigger and better. Choosing to be gentle with a child, and patient with ourselves, and generous in ways we think might not even show makes our children more gentle, patient and generous.—Sandra Dodd