'O Allah increase me in knowledge,

Friday, 25 April 2008

Teaching kids to forgive...always!

Assalamu alaykum ,

'forgiving and forgetting is better than resenting and regretting!' I read this somewhere in the net!

" … whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allaah…" [al-Shoora 42:40]

Teaching kids how to forgive is one of my main goal. I find that it is a very important matter and feel so strong about it as I see that some adults don't have the heart and most probably were not educating into forgiving one another. How many times you walk the streets and see people agruing for a parking place or some other silly matters! Wouldn't this world be a better place if we all could take a step forward and really forgive one another for Allah's sake!?! A kind word opens the doors to people’s hearts and removes enmity from them, and tolerance, forgiveness and sincerity restore love between people. When a person speaks a kind word and turns a blind eye to bad treatment, he earns people’s respect and makes the one who has done something bad apologize for his bad behaviour or stop persisting in it.

Perseverance and forginess go hand to hand.

Just read the hadith of our beloved Prophet (sallahu alaye wa sallam).

A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off; I treat them well, but they treat me badly; I try to be kind to them, but they are cruel to me." He said: "If you are as you say, it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. You will continue to have support from Allaah against them so long as you continue doing that." (Reported by Muslim, no. 2558)

When children fights and it would be nice that the nearby adults/parents/carers could take the oppurtunity to refresh the children about the importance to ask one another about fogiveness, sorry never hurt anyone. Of course the child/dren should mean what he/she says and understahnd the importance of treating others with respect in the first place. Just a while back, S had done something not nice to a friend and quickly ask to be forgiven and said sorry. Unfortunatly the carer of the other child did not accept S apology and remarked by saying 'Sometimes sorry is not enough!' I found it a bit just harsh specially when you think that S is only a 4 1/2 years old and that he quickly said he was sorry.

Another good discussion should be started here about the important of asking for fogivess to others and specially to Allah. Making tawbah to Allah brings us closer to Him Ta'Ala and makes us realize how powerless we are.
Rushing to condemn and criticize without looking for the appropriate moment usually leads to the opposite of the desired results. Humility and a gentle approach lifts barriers and removes aggression and hostility. According to a saheeh hadeeth narrated by ‘Ayaad (may Allaah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has revealed to me that you should be so humble that no one oppresses another or boasts to another.” (Reported by Muslim, 2865).
“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e., don’t punish them).”[al-A’raaf 7:199]