'O Allah increase me in knowledge,

Saturday, 7 February 2009

Facing hardships and home educating

Assalamu alaykum,
lately I am reading a lot about other sisters preparing to embark on the great journey of home education. I read their posts on the Group, chat with them at the phone and/or email them. Their talks, excitement, research into home education and the ifs and buts remind me of my beginning, our beginning into the world of home education. So much to look forward, so much to gain joy from, mash'Allah.
Four years after and it is still the same for me, I am still so happy and full of energy. I do wish I could do more, I could teach more I could...time's flying and before I know it's tomorrow! But am I really that full of energy? Am I still so full of happiness? Is the stress of everyday life taking its toll?
All these thoughts have brought some deep reflection about my current situation.
Since the very first day I chose home education and I get on with it all by my own. I was not expected a medal here or indeed to get paid for doing what I love to do, but appreciation and maybe a little encouragement would do.
I feel days, months and years later the situation is the same. I chose to home educate because I do believe it is the best choice for my kids. I have so much respect for those mums that have to send their kids to state school because they cannot do home education, or because things are not easy maybe they face some hardships, financial problems etc. May Allah make it easy for all of the sisters in those situations.Amin. I am indeed blessed and thank Allah for it.
Although I am facing some hardships at present and this is effecting me. I am usually a little 'soldier' I march on because that is how I was brought up. No matter what I have always stand up and done what I had to. Most of the sisters I know are like that and just get on with their works. Mash'Allah, may Allah reward them!Amin.
But lately all of the stress related problems of everyday life combined with the old problem of living by my own with 3 kidlets have taken its toll. It's already so hard to function in normal circumstances but imagine doing all that, cooking, cleaning, shopping looking after the education of the kids, a toddler of 1 1/2, the usual errands (bills, bank, post office etc), university studies, Arabic course, sports , madrassa etc and on top not support and stress related to everyday living?!!
I do feel things are a bit too much for me at present.
Should I leave home education? I would be sad to do so, but where are my alternatives? Do I have any choice? Is there a way I can mend such a situation?
I am pondering over those thoughts now and just feeling really tired....
wa alaykum assalam


Umm Khadijah said...

Assalamu 'alaykum,

aw sis! my heart goes out to you, it really does, masha'Allaah you seem like a really strong woman, Allaahumma baarak feek, but even the strongest of people can sometimes be weighed down by life's ups and downs and various pressures.
Don't give up on schooling your kids sis, I know it may be easy for me to say, but masha'Allaah you've stuck with it for 4 yrs, alhamdulillaah, maybe what you need is a little break, maybe to family/friends?
or, just forget about the teaching for a week or two, and do some fun things with the kids.
At the end of the day though, you know your situation better than us, make istikhaarah to have a more clear outlook on the situation, make lot's of du'a, and insha Allaah, Allaah will make the way easy for you, ameen.
Here if you need anything sis, I mean it!

Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

Aslamu alakum ukti
Iam sorry to read about all your hardship and struggles but you have done so well mashaAllah over the years and achieved a lot with your roost. some times life boggs us down and we want a quick fix, maybe its a holiday or a break for a while won't hurt to put the books away or take a slower pace. sometimes being a mum is hard and involves a lot of sacrifices on our part.

We have to really look hard into ourselves and say is this what i want and sometimes we think the grass is greener on the other side but it is not always the case. be strong sister like i know you can, make dua and ask Allah to guide you.

muslimah trying to home edu said...

Assalamu alaykum sister Umm Khadijah,
jazakillah for your comment.
I feel things could go smoother for me and kids but this is our test and we shall be strong for Allah's sake.
I don't want to leave home education. My kids have gone so far and I feel I will deny their rights by registering them to school. They love home education and I love home eduacate them. I have carried on with the normal lesson, I cannot stop now as we took a bit too much holidays with Ramadan, summer, the two eids and some more day when we enjoy art&crafts only!
I think I have been ungrateful to my Lord. He has blessed me with three lovely boys and doing home education is a blessing in itself. I should not complain too much. After all there are people in a far worste situation.
Love fisabilillah

muslimah trying to home edu said...

Assalamu alaykum sister Rainbow,
jazakillah for your nice words and advice. I very much appreciate what you said. Hugs back to you ukhti.
And yes there is no a quick fix, we just have to get on with it and be strong! Allah Kariim.
And Allah is all Hearer, As-Sami'.
Jazakillah again,

Anonymous said...

Salaam my dear sis!
I spoke to you today and I pray you are feeling much better. Just remember that this life is indeed are homeschooling for that very reason - to attain Allah's pleasure. Anyone who is striving for this is sure to be tested. So smile my dear sister and know that Allah (Swt) loves you as He is the One who tests those that He loves.

I'm here should you need. me.
Umm Raiyaan x

Umm Khadijah said...

Assalamu 'alaykum sis, I put my two children into school a couple of years back for a while, I thought it was the best thing to do at the time, but subhanAllaah, my heart was yearning to homeschool them, I missed the planning, teaching them, and seeing them progress, now alhamdulillaah I do homeschool 2 of my children, one of my sons is in school, and I think that is better for him for now, for certain reasons, but maybe in the future insha Allaah, I will homeschool him too.

I'm glad you feel so passionate about teaching your kids, Allaahumma baarak feek, our kids are worth it, and insha Allaah us and them will have memories to cherish forever when we look back at these days.

Keep strong sis,making du'a for you, and remember Allaah tests those he loves.x