lately I am reading a lot about other sisters preparing to embark on the great journey of home education. I read their posts on the Group, chat with them at the phone and/or email them. Their talks, excitement, research into home education and the ifs and buts remind me of my beginning, our beginning into the world of home education. So much to look forward, so much to gain joy from, mash'Allah.
Four years after and it is still the same for me, I am still so happy and full of energy. I do wish I could do more, I could teach more I could...time's flying and before I know it's tomorrow! But am I really that full of energy? Am I still so full of happiness? Is the stress of everyday life taking its toll?
All these thoughts have brought some deep reflection about my current situation.
Since the very first day I chose home education and I get on with it all by my own. I was not expected a medal here or indeed to get paid for doing what I love to do, but appreciation and maybe a little encouragement would do.
I feel days, months and years later the situation is the same. I chose to home educate because I do believe it is the best choice for my kids. I have so much respect for those mums that have to send their kids to state school because they cannot do home education, or because things are not easy maybe they face some hardships, financial problems etc. May Allah make it easy for all of the sisters in those situations.Amin. I am indeed blessed and thank Allah for it.
Although I am facing some hardships at present and this is effecting me. I am usually a little 'soldier' I march on because that is how I was brought up. No matter what I have always stand up and done what I had to. Most of the sisters I know are like that and just get on with their works. Mash'Allah, may Allah reward them!Amin.
But lately all of the stress related problems of everyday life combined with the old problem of living by my own with 3 kidlets have taken its toll. It's already so hard to function in normal circumstances but imagine doing all that, cooking, cleaning, shopping looking after the education of the kids, a toddler of 1 1/2, the usual errands (bills, bank, post office etc), university studies, Arabic course, sports , madrassa etc and on top not support and stress related to everyday living?!!
I do feel things are a bit too much for me at present.
Should I leave home education? I would be sad to do so, but where are my alternatives? Do I have any choice? Is there a way I can mend such a situation?
I am pondering over those thoughts now and just feeling really tired....
wa alaykum assalam
Saturday, 7 February 2009