'O Allah increase me in knowledge,

Sunday, 9 March 2008

Life's a struggle...

Assalamu alaykum,
it's not perfect, it's not easy one and at times it becomes very hard! It's our journey down the road of homeschooling. It's a life's struggle and we try our best to please Allah alone.
Lately I have been thinking a lot, doesn't happen often as I am too busy to sit and think.
My thoughts turned towards my kids education, their upbringing, my life as muslimah and generally our I doing the right thing? I feel so lonely in this hardship, so left out, and don't wish to carry on. Is it just a period? I don't know.
I am too worry, but I don't want to give up. Then I look at the clock, it's time for dinner, then again it's time to study, the again, it's time for it never going to end??! I am tired. I am always running around and my days are so busy. I do never stop.
Just few minutes at the breakfast table to eat a bite and down again with the chores.

Hang on: baby's crying I have go to go.Then I have to take the kids to madrassa. It's already time to pick them up...out in the traffic again!

I am not really teaching them, am I? So what am I doing?
I feel sad. I cannot give them what I was prepare to do. My commitment is not the same as it was one year ago. Or is it?
S. look at me and ask to do some English and Maths, as he calls it. He means,that he wants to study with his books about literacy and numeracy.
A. just doesn't like to do anything. He loves his Lego and Meccano and he is quite content with those, or is he not? I don't know.
I don't know which way to take, how to sort this mess out.
I have tried for a while to put this behind my back but now I am getting too frustrated. We don't really homeschool here, maybe unschooling...yeah maybe...