'O Allah increase me in knowledge,

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Conflict resolution: Few tips

Assalamu alaykum,
just few tips I have got from reading articles on the net.
Resolution #1 Talk to your child, and again and again and again and the idea?
Resolution #2 Explain to your child what's right and what's wrong
Resolution #3 Try to point out why it is wrong and how it should be done
Resolution #4 Use the cooling down solution. Sit your child in a safe place and allowed him/her to think over their mistakes/Let him/her sit for a while. The ask them what they thought about their wrongdoing
Resolution #5 Have bags full of sabr (patience)!!!
Resolution #6 The most important one: make dua'as!

I am already trying to do all those things and really I have been doing those since my kids where born. So where am I going wrong? Is it because they are growing and changing in a dratsic way??
Well, I will have to work on this very issue as it is so fundametal for the family wellbeing.
Insh'Allah dua'as

Wa alaykum assalam


miggy said...

As Salamualykum sister, nice blog masha'Allaah. i got the link from muslimhers. i wanted to mention that i also talk to my children and explain things and 1 will listen the other has his own ideas, he is still young, however i was listening to a talk by br. M. Al-Shareef and he mentioned a book called, 'rasing a thinking child,' and mashaAllaah i think it is worth getting from the library. it has some good ideas, it talks about allowing and helping the child to think about alternatives to conflict resolution through games and playing. children as young as 2 can do some of the games. basically the children need to think for themselves and this kind of opened my eyes to where i was going wrong for us. if i always explain and intervene in the argument then they will relie on me to be the referee! they need to start thinking of different ways to resolve the problem, theres also a website called raising small souls and they had some good ideas on there too.

muslimah trying to home edu said...

Assalamu alaykum sister,
jazak'Allahu kheir for leaving this comment. I really appreciate some else point of view and advice on this very delicate matter. I will look for the website you mention and also the book. Insh'Allah.
Wa alaykum assalam